Secret Santa exclusions

Secret Santa exclusions keep partners from drawing each other

Wichtlify is a free website and app for Secret Santa. You add the names and say who must not draw whom, both ways or just one; it then draws in secret and keeps to every rule.

Couples and flatmates kept apart
Each person sees only who they buy for, through their own link
A warning if the rules leave no possible draw

The group page before the draw, with members, wishes and exclusions – in the browser

How it works

Secret Santa with exclusions in four steps

Create the groupSet the occasion, date and budget (£ or €).
Add the names and exclusionsAn exclusion is a rule that someone must not draw someone else, such as a couple. You set it one way or both ways.
Draw in secretWichtlify checks first that the rules add up. Nobody draws themselves, and nobody sees the whole list, not even you.
Send the linksYou send each person their own link, in the chat or by email. In it they add wishes and, after the draw, see who they are buying for.

Christmas in Limerick

Niamh’s family stops drawing their own partners this year

Every Christmas the Okafor-Byrnes squeeze into Chidi and Niamh’s house in Limerick: ten people, three couples and two pairs of siblings who share a flat. For years the names came out of a hat, and every year someone drew their own partner or the sibling they live with. Last year Sean drew Ciara, the sister he shares a kitchen with, and the present was hidden in their hallway for a fortnight.

This year Niamh creates the group with £20 (or €20) a present and Sunday 27 December as the day they meet. She is the only one who needs an account. The others open their link in the browser, with no account and no app; the app is there for iPhone and Android. She adds the ten names, sets the rules described next, and draws on Wednesday 25 November.

Each person has their own link from the moment they are added. Wichtlify can email it to everyone whose address she has entered, and Niamh sends the rest theirs in the family chat. If your group only finds a free evening after Christmas, a New Year’s Eve Secret Santa works the same way.

Set exclusions before the draw – in the browser

Set exclusions before the draw – in the iPhone app

The Okafor-Byrnes

10 people and 3 couples
2 pairs of siblings who share a flat
£20 (or €20) a present
drawn on Wednesday 25 November

Setting the rules

Exclusions keep partners and flatmates apart

An exclusion says that two people don’t draw each other. Niamh enters each one both ways: Chidi doesn’t draw Niamh, and Niamh doesn’t draw Chidi. She does the same for the other couples and the flatmates, five pairs, so ten exclusions for the pairs. Anyone not named in a rule can still draw anyone.

A rule doesn’t have to go both ways. Ada would rather not draw Emeka, because his birthday falls in December and she already buys for him then, but he may still draw her. Whoever runs the group can add exclusions in Wichtlify while entering the names, one direction at a time, any time before the draw.

Once the rules are in, the names are matched at random within them. How that works is covered in the full draw mechanics.

When rules don’t add up

If the rules leave no possible draw, Wichtlify says so before it draws

Too many exclusions can make a draw impossible. Take a group of ten where six live in one house and nobody may draw a housemate: the six would need six different people to buy for, and only four are left. Wichtlify never breaks a rule to make the draw work. It tells you before drawing, and if one person is left with nobody to draw, it says who. Then you can drop a rule or add someone instead of getting a wrong result.

If each household should instead draw only among themselves, you need pots: separate draws inside one group. Pots are part of Wichtlify Pro, which you don’t need for an ordinary Secret Santa. Pro is optional: €4.99 a year, it renews automatically, it is bought in the iOS or Android app, and it covers every group on your account.

Who has opened their link – in the iPhone app

Why Wichtlify

Nobody sees the pairs, and next year starts from this year’s

She sees who has opened their link and who hasn’t added wishes yet, but never who drew whom, so the presents stay a surprise for her too.

Next Christmas she repeats the group, and the draw also avoids this year’s pairs. Like the exclusions and the draw, that’s free.

Exclusions work the same for colleagues or club members, for families who all live apart, and for one secret name each at a birthday or a leaving present.

A member's personal page – in the browser

Each result stays personal – in the iPhone app

Also free

budget and date in every link
an automatic reminder for missing wishes

Ready to copy

This message collects every rule before the draw

Send it a week before the draw date, so nobody brings up a rule after the names are out. Fill in the brackets.

Message to the family

Hi all,
Secret Santa again this year: [£20 (or €20)] a present, and we open them on [Sunday 27 December].
This time partners and anyone who shares a home won’t draw each other.
If there’s someone else you’d rather not draw, tell me by [Tuesday 24 November].
I’ll draw the names on [Wednesday 25 November].
[Niamh]

FAQ

Frequently asked questions

Can two people still end up buying for each other?

Yes, if no rule keeps them apart. The draw neither aims for such pairs nor rules them out. To prevent it, exclude the two both ways; a rule in one direction only can never produce it.

Can I add an exclusion after the draw?

Only by drawing again, so do it before anyone has opened their link. If someone drops out after the draw, Wichtlify asks who steps in, and everyone else keeps their person.

How many people does a draw with exclusions need?

At least three, and up to 100 on the web. The smaller the group and the more exclusions it has, the fewer ways the draw can work. With three people, a rule both ways cannot work: the other two would both have to draw the third.

Next steps

Related next steps

Once the exclusions are clear, the rest is quick.

Set the exclusions, then draw

Start the group now. The rules can go in any time before you draw.

Create a group with exclusions – free

Secret Santa exclusions keep partners from drawing each other

Secret Santa with exclusions in four steps