How we ran a gift exchange draw at our barbecue

Every summer Alfie invites the old crowd from uni to his garden in Bath. This year it was Saturday 15 August, and in the group chat I suggested we make it more than burgers. The rule I posted fitted in three lines: “One wrapped present each, for one other person, £12 at most. You’ll get a link for your wishes. We open them after the food.”

Alfie’s first idea was names in a salad bowl on the day. I had done that before: somebody draws their own name, Ollie turns up late, and by the time the slips come out nobody has a present yet. So I decided to draw online, instead of slips, and early enough for everyone to go shopping.

I created the group and typed in the eight first names, £12 and the date of the barbecue. Tom and Hannah are a couple and would have bought for each other anyway, so I set an exclusion both ways: neither could draw the other. Then Wichtlify did the part I couldn’t have done fairly myself: drawing who gives to whom, with nobody drawing themselves and me drawing a name like everyone else.

I only had e-mail addresses for three of them, which didn’t matter. Every person has their own link, so I sent the links without e-mail addresses, one private message each. Priya opened hers within a minute and saw one name, with the £12 and Saturday 15 August underneath.

Most people wrote something into their link in the first few days. Alfie asked for “anything for the garden, but no more tongs”. A week before the barbecue, two lists were still blank, and I could see whose.

I didn’t have to chase anyone. Wichtlify reminded both of them by itself: a notice in their link, a push for anyone with the app, and an e-mail once their address was confirmed. By Wednesday only one list was still empty.

Two days before the barbecue, Sophie was sent away for work that weekend. I removed her from the group, and Wichtlify asked how to fill the gap she left. Only the people affected by her leaving got a new name; everyone else kept the person they had drawn.

Wichtlify calls this emergency repair. Nobody had to start again, and nobody found out who had drawn Sophie.

The presents went on a garden table by the shed, and after the food we opened them one by one. Ravi got a jar of homemade chilli sauce and spent ten minutes guessing who knew he liked it that hot. Ollie, late as usual, at least had his present with him.

Once we’d eaten, I switched on the reveal. It is off unless the organiser turns it on, and then each person’s link shows who gave to them, nothing more. Hannah had drawn me, which explained the very specific question about my favourite tea.

What made the difference for us: nobody had the full list, not even me, so I could join in properly. And none of my friends had to download anything or sign up to see their name.

Next year I’ll repeat the same group and change the date, and the draw will avoid this year’s pairs by itself. The draw, the links, the repair after Sophie cancelled and the repeat are all free. I’ll draw three weeks ahead rather than two, because one wish list stayed empty until the barbecue.

What Wichtlify doesn’t do is send WhatsApp messages or decide the budget, and it needs at least three people for a draw.